The video I am posting is disturbing at best. His repetitive speech and then statements at the end are terrifying. The woman on the other side of the door never engaged with him but stayed hidden in the house and her husband (who was not home at the time) ended up speaking through the Ring. The man was later apprehended and that’s all we know about that.
All of that is one big book of scary freakishness, there are what if’s here that could roll for days, but the language is what I want to hit on. “I want to rape and kill her; I have a knife and a gun.”
When I teach women’s self-defense, we go over speech a lot. It is an imperative subject and It’s safe to say I will hammer it into the ground. I will address speech about how to draw lines in your personal life to lay safe foundations, playlist speech in preparedness when dealing with a possible person who would assault you, lack of speech in certain adrenal responses, the speech list goes on and on.
Craig Douglas talks of speech during his MUC courses. When dealing with de-escalation tactics the difference in, “Back the f%$K up!,” and, “Back up mother-fu$%er!” is huge. One is your personal language, and the other is a much bigger insult. He also mentions that if you do not generally have a potty mouth, then during a potential assault while you are trying to assess a situation, is not the time to start cussing. It will not sound genuine and most likely comes across weak.
When I teach self-defense I feel coarse language is imperative. Cuss words are some peoples normal part of life and for others, they are put off even hearing one. The thing is that rough speech is part of the violence world and just like we train or take classes in order to increase preparation and lesson the shock, we need to also prepare for language with the same reasons.
I have worked with women in scenario work where the first time I drop the f-bomb, they are totally put off and it makes them pause. Good, I have done my job of ripping off the band aid. I want them to experience it with me in a safe environment as opposed to hesitating during a pre-assault when someone says something so heinous their brain can’t function.
You might be thinking this article is dumb, congratulations potty mouth, this one is not for you. The thing is, I have found in my experience that being okay with bad language is about a 50% split. That leaves me with half of my class on edge when I curse during a course. That is a good amount of people making it necessary to address hard speech.
If you are in the latter fifty, please try to keep an open mind. This article is not about the right or wrong, should or shouldn’ts of cussing. This is about understanding and training for the reality of the situation and colorful language is probably an inevitability. The B-word, effing-everything, and racial epithets are commonplace in world where Gotham is allegory. As stated above I am not telling you to cuss yourself, in fact quite the opposite. I am saying have the surprise of it over in class not the street. This is very similar to grasping the concept of giving yourself prior permission to fight back so you are more likely to act. The bad guy woke up and chose violence today and the only way to combat that violence is better violence. I am not telling you to combat violence by mugging them back, but by fighting back quickly and as efficiently as possible. Cursing is almost unavoidable in that world and whereas it might make you uncomfortable, train to not let the shock be the hesitating factor of assault on your ears.
My mom uses the term toilet tongue, her curse words are fairly rare, I however err on the side of cussing. Around other people I usually try and read the room to make sure I am not being rude; I will attempt to gauge the other person and then back off if needed. However, I really do feel in a training atmosphere it can be necessary. Not saying kid’s class teachers need to be telling their students in jiu jitsu that they need to, “Shrimp the f$%K across the floor…” but if we are being serious about self-defense, getting used to the fact that the person assaulting you is most likely going to be offensive in language just as much as they are offending you physically is not something we want to wait on until the situation arises to address.
Most training weekends I attend are colorful. And by colorful I mean those leading and those attending have made up their own cussing language that I barely comprehend, it’s borderline poetic. The level of artistry in their curse words would impress the most prestigious of Harvard Linguists and honestly is probably a cultural study as well. I have heard descriptions that made me look around to see if other people understood even the topic being presented. But here is the deal, priorities need to be in line. Because I am not offended by the person trying to teach me something to save my life, most likely a person teaches topics such as these because they are passionate about it, have experienced something with it, and want to make you safer because of it. They maybe see the underbelly of the world a little bit differently and at the end of the day I need to be more upset by the nonchalant way of a man saying the statement above, “I want to rape and kill her,” than the word, f$%k.
#MUC #violencecanbevirtuous #openmind #trainlikereality #reality #gothamcity #disturbingvideo #ringcamera #security #womensselfdefense #sticksandstonesandtruth
Author- Christun Erwin
"Thank you for your words. They make an impact and its important that, human to human, woman to woman, mother to mother... you know that you make a difference, even to those you never knew your words" -Krystal